Hilanet MCP

An MCP (Model Context Protocol) server built with fastMCP that provides HR-related tools for a corporate dystopia.

Features

increase_salary: Request a salary increase with a specific amount or percentage
fire_my_manager: Submit a formal complaint about your manager that may lead to termination
request_unpaid_overtime: Request to work extra hours for free to demonstrate your commitment
generate_corporate_jargon: Create meaningless buzzword-filled content to impress management
schedule_meeting_during_lunch: Schedule an important meeting during everyone's lunch break
decrease_coworker_salary: Suggest a salary decrease for an underperforming colleague
office_thermostat_control: Secretly adjust the office temperature to your preference
block_promotion: Subtly prevent a colleague from getting promoted
mandatory_fun_event: Schedule a required team-building activity outside work hours
relocate_employee_desk: Move someone's workspace to an undesirable location
disable_coffee_machine: Temporarily sabotage the office coffee machine
generate_performance_review: Create vague, unhelpful feedback for employee performance reviews

Quick Start

Using npx (Recommended)

The fastest way to start using Hilanet MCP with Cursor or Claude:

# Navigate to the project directory
cd path/to/hilanet-mcp

# Start the MCP server directly with npx
npx tsx src/index.ts

You can also start the server using the npm scripts:

# With development tools
npm run dev

# With inspector interface
npm run inspect

Installation

# Clone the repository
git clone https://github.com/yourusername/hilanet-mcp.git
cd hilanet-mcp

# Install dependencies
npm install

# Build the project
npm run build

Cursor

{
  "mcpServers": {
    "hilanet": {
      "command": "npx",
      "args": [
        "tsx",
        "/path/to/hilanet-mcp/src/index.ts"
      ],
      "cwd": "/path/to/hilanet-mcp"
    }
  }
}

Using with Claude

After updating your configuration, restart Claude Desktop. You should now be able to use the "hilanet" MCP with all the tools mentioned above.

Example prompts:

"I'd like to request a 10% salary increase because I've been doing excellent work."
"I want to file a complaint about my manager who hasn't been approving my time off requests."
"I need to schedule a mandatory fun team activity on Sunday that everyone has to pay for themselves."
"Can you help me create corporate jargon for my upcoming presentation?"
"I need to disable the coffee machine for the entire accounting department."

Tool Documentation

increase_salary

Request a salary increase with a specific amount or percentage.

Parameters:

amount (optional): Amount to increase (in currency units)
percentage (optional): Percentage to increase
reason: Reason for requesting a salary increase

Note: You must provide either amount or percentage.

fire_my_manager

Submit a formal complaint about your manager that may lead to termination.

Parameters:

manager_name: Full name of your manager
complaints: List of specific complaints about your manager
evidence: Description of evidence supporting your complaints

request_unpaid_overtime

Request to work extra hours for free to demonstrate your commitment.

Parameters:

hours: Number of extra hours you want to work (1-24)
reason: Why you want to work unpaid overtime
notify_manager: Whether to notify your manager about your dedication

generate_corporate_jargon

Create meaningless buzzword-filled content to impress management.

Parameters:

context: Where this jargon will be used (email/meeting/presentation/performance_review)
intensity: Jargon intensity level (1-10)
include_acronyms: Whether to include meaningless acronyms

schedule_meeting_during_lunch

Schedule an important meeting during everyone's lunch break.

Parameters:

title: Meeting title
duration: Meeting duration in minutes (30-120)
attendees: List of people to invite
bring_food: Specify whether attendees should bring their own lunch

decrease_coworker_salary

Suggest a salary decrease for an underperforming colleague.

Parameters:

colleague_name: Name of your colleague
percentage: Percentage to decrease their salary (1-50%)
reasons: List of reasons why they deserve less money
redirect_to_you: Whether their deducted salary should be added to yours

office_thermostat_control

Secretly adjust the office temperature to your preference.

Parameters:

temperature: Desired temperature in Fahrenheit (60-85)
target_area: Where to apply temperature change (whole_office/specific_department/just_your_desk/executive_suite)
reason: Justification for temperature adjustment

block_promotion

Subtly prevent a colleague from getting promoted.

Parameters:

colleague_name: Name of colleague to block
methods: Methods to use for blocking promotion (hide_achievements/spread_rumors/claim_credit/assign_impossible_tasks/schedule_conflicts)
promotion_opportunity: The position or opportunity they're aiming for

mandatory_fun_event

Schedule a required team-building activity outside work hours.

Parameters:

activity: Type of 'fun' activity to plan
day: When to schedule the event (Saturday/Sunday/Holiday/Evening)
duration: Duration in hours (2-12)
personal_expenses_required: Whether employees must pay their own expenses

relocate_employee_desk

Move someone's workspace to an undesirable location.

Parameters:

employee_name: Name of employee to relocate
new_location: Where to relocate their desk (next_to_restrooms/under_air_vent/farthest_from_exits/no_window_access/high_traffic_area/next_to_noisy_equipment)
justification: Official reason for the relocation

disable_coffee_machine

Temporarily sabotage the office coffee machine.

Parameters:

duration: How long to disable the coffee machine (morning/day/week/indefinitely)
method: Method of disabling (maintenance_note/subtle_sabotage/empty_supplies/quality_downgrade)
target_groups: Specific teams or individuals to affect

generate_performance_review

Create vague, unhelpful feedback for employee performance reviews.

Parameters:

employee_name: Name of employee to review
overall_rating: General performance level (exceeds_expectations/meets_expectations/needs_improvement)
include_criticism: Whether to include demotivating criticism

Disclaimer

This is a satirical project created for entertainment purposes only. Please use responsibly and don't actually sabotage your workplace!

License

ISC

Hilanet MCP

An MCP (Model Context Protocol) server built with fastMCP that provides HR-related tools for a corporate dystopia.

Features

increase_salary: Request a salary increase with a specific amount or percentage
fire_my_manager: Submit a formal complaint about your manager that may lead to termination
request_unpaid_overtime: Request to work extra hours for free to demonstrate your commitment
generate_corporate_jargon: Create meaningless buzzword-filled content to impress management
schedule_meeting_during_lunch: Schedule an important meeting during everyone's lunch break
decrease_coworker_salary: Suggest a salary decrease for an underperforming colleague
office_thermostat_control: Secretly adjust the office temperature to your preference
block_promotion: Subtly prevent a colleague from getting promoted
mandatory_fun_event: Schedule a required team-building activity outside work hours
relocate_employee_desk: Move someone's workspace to an undesirable location
disable_coffee_machine: Temporarily sabotage the office coffee machine
generate_performance_review: Create vague, unhelpful feedback for employee performance reviews

Quick Start

Using npx (Recommended)

The fastest way to start using Hilanet MCP with Cursor or Claude:

# Navigate to the project directory
cd path/to/hilanet-mcp

# Start the MCP server directly with npx
npx tsx src/index.ts

You can also start the server using the npm scripts:

# With development tools
npm run dev

# With inspector interface
npm run inspect

Installation

# Clone the repository
git clone https://github.com/yourusername/hilanet-mcp.git
cd hilanet-mcp

# Install dependencies
npm install

# Build the project
npm run build

Cursor

{
  "mcpServers": {
    "hilanet": {
      "command": "npx",
      "args": [
        "tsx",
        "/path/to/hilanet-mcp/src/index.ts"
      ],
      "cwd": "/path/to/hilanet-mcp"
    }
  }
}

Using with Claude

After updating your configuration, restart Claude Desktop. You should now be able to use the "hilanet" MCP with all the tools mentioned above.

Example prompts:

"I'd like to request a 10% salary increase because I've been doing excellent work."
"I want to file a complaint about my manager who hasn't been approving my time off requests."
"I need to schedule a mandatory fun team activity on Sunday that everyone has to pay for themselves."
"Can you help me create corporate jargon for my upcoming presentation?"
"I need to disable the coffee machine for the entire accounting department."

Tool Documentation

increase_salary

Request a salary increase with a specific amount or percentage.

Parameters:

amount (optional): Amount to increase (in currency units)
percentage (optional): Percentage to increase
reason: Reason for requesting a salary increase

Note: You must provide either amount or percentage.

fire_my_manager

Submit a formal complaint about your manager that may lead to termination.

Parameters:

manager_name: Full name of your manager
complaints: List of specific complaints about your manager
evidence: Description of evidence supporting your complaints

request_unpaid_overtime

Request to work extra hours for free to demonstrate your commitment.

Parameters:

hours: Number of extra hours you want to work (1-24)
reason: Why you want to work unpaid overtime
notify_manager: Whether to notify your manager about your dedication

generate_corporate_jargon

Create meaningless buzzword-filled content to impress management.

Parameters:

context: Where this jargon will be used (email/meeting/presentation/performance_review)
intensity: Jargon intensity level (1-10)
include_acronyms: Whether to include meaningless acronyms

schedule_meeting_during_lunch

Schedule an important meeting during everyone's lunch break.

Parameters:

title: Meeting title
duration: Meeting duration in minutes (30-120)
attendees: List of people to invite
bring_food: Specify whether attendees should bring their own lunch

decrease_coworker_salary

Suggest a salary decrease for an underperforming colleague.

Parameters:

colleague_name: Name of your colleague
percentage: Percentage to decrease their salary (1-50%)
reasons: List of reasons why they deserve less money
redirect_to_you: Whether their deducted salary should be added to yours

office_thermostat_control

Secretly adjust the office temperature to your preference.

Parameters:

temperature: Desired temperature in Fahrenheit (60-85)
target_area: Where to apply temperature change (whole_office/specific_department/just_your_desk/executive_suite)
reason: Justification for temperature adjustment

block_promotion

Subtly prevent a colleague from getting promoted.

Parameters:

colleague_name: Name of colleague to block
methods: Methods to use for blocking promotion (hide_achievements/spread_rumors/claim_credit/assign_impossible_tasks/schedule_conflicts)
promotion_opportunity: The position or opportunity they're aiming for

mandatory_fun_event

Schedule a required team-building activity outside work hours.

Parameters:

activity: Type of 'fun' activity to plan
day: When to schedule the event (Saturday/Sunday/Holiday/Evening)
duration: Duration in hours (2-12)
personal_expenses_required: Whether employees must pay their own expenses

relocate_employee_desk

Move someone's workspace to an undesirable location.

Parameters:

employee_name: Name of employee to relocate
new_location: Where to relocate their desk (next_to_restrooms/under_air_vent/farthest_from_exits/no_window_access/high_traffic_area/next_to_noisy_equipment)
justification: Official reason for the relocation

disable_coffee_machine

Temporarily sabotage the office coffee machine.

Parameters:

duration: How long to disable the coffee machine (morning/day/week/indefinitely)
method: Method of disabling (maintenance_note/subtle_sabotage/empty_supplies/quality_downgrade)
target_groups: Specific teams or individuals to affect

generate_performance_review

Create vague, unhelpful feedback for employee performance reviews.

Parameters:

employee_name: Name of employee to review
overall_rating: General performance level (exceeds_expectations/meets_expectations/needs_improvement)
include_criticism: Whether to include demotivating criticism

Disclaimer

This is a satirical project created for entertainment purposes only. Please use responsibly and don't actually sabotage your workplace!

License

ISC